Raqqa– Its official! Speaking from his bunker today, the leader of the Islamic State, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has confirmed that the Islamic State has made The Donald ” an offer he can’t refuse.”
In today’s special edition of Dabiq- The Islamic State’s magazine, Al-Baghdadi has confirmed months-long speculation that the Islamic State holds the personae of The Donald dearly- and that it always wanted him for a senior position of leadership.
Al-Baghdadi also said the Islamic Shurra council has approved of the decision to welcome Trump into its rank-and-file, and that IS and can’t wait to have him come over.
” The Islamic State shares The Donald’s opinion on many things; such as the proper way to handle the inferior sex and distaste for political correctness.” Al Baghdadi asserted.
“We’re getting ready to welcome a brother who also likes and enjoys groping women as much as the Lions of the Caliphate do.” Al Baghdadi said.
Another senior commander of the Islamic State and a member of its Shurra has also noted the merits of Donald Trump for the position and pointed out how Donald Trump and ISIS have a common enemy.
” I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who wishes to destroy the infidel nation of America- Obama and the unholy idea of democracy except perhaps Donald Trump, ” he said admiringly.
Troubled by incessant allegations of foul-play and accusations of lewd behavior that would make it almost impossible to be elected President in the United States, it is to be recalled that Trump has instructed his campaign staff to find him a country where those accusations won’t mean anything for him to run for president on.