Yaoundé — In the wake of a government’s lash campaign against the excessive use of social media, Cameroon’s First Lady’s hair, warned Cameroonian ladies to stay off from what it termed as “the degenerate vice of social media usage.”

In a brief statement aired today in the state-controlled Cameroon Radio Television (CRTV), Ms. Biya’s hair warned young Cameroonian of the obvious vices of social media use, and that it supports the proposed increased government-control of social media usage in the oil-rich African country.

Ms. Biya’s hair spoke about the looming danger of malicious political forces utilizing social media to destabilize the country and mobilize forces to end President Paul Biya’s glorious 31-year leadership, and called for the Cameroonian government to prepare ahead of time.

“ My advice to young Cameroonians is to forget politics, and mobilize instead against the immediate threats of baldness and Alopecia.” Ms. Biya’s hair Opined.

Chantal Biya’s Hair: A profile

  • – Born in 1969, in a small village called Chittoor in Andhra Pradesh province in India.
  •  Given by the previous owner as an offering to the Hindu Deity Venkateshwara’s Tirumala temple in 1989.

    Chantal Biya Hair
    Chantal Biya’s Hair Being Guarded by Greece Praetorian Guards for Display During Ms. Biya’s visit to Greece.
  • Adopted by the European Human Hair Consortium before being sent to study at the prestigious Ecole de Coiffure de Lyon.
  •  Met Ms. Biya during one her frequent shopping visits to Paris – they were later betrothed at the Jean Claude Gallon Saloon in plush Paris neighborhood of Saint Germain-des-Prés in the 6th Arrondissement.
  • Married Cameroonian President Paul Biya in a small ceremony in 1994 after his first wife passed away to become Cameroon’s first lady and the Belle of the Banana Republic.