Adi-Abeito, Eritrea — Awaze Tribune is proud to announce that Eritrean President, H.E. Isaias Afwerki, the President of the State of Eritrea and Head of its Government for life, has officially been named the winner of this newspaper’s Sexiest Man Alive Competition for the year 2017.
President Isaias has won this accolade thanks to his devastatingly handsome features, trendsetting haircuts, his ability to charm his friends and his unparalleled ability to sow discord in Eritrea and his strong sturdy frame; this Sahel-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Isaias has made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, and of course, that famous smile that literally spells ‘ጌና ክሓስየኩም ኢየ’.
“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” AwazeTribune’s Style and Entertainment editor Selam Kidane said. “And that’s the quality that makes him the sort of man women want, and men want to be. He’s a real hunk with real intensity who also knows how to keep an activist busy.”
Ms. Kidane further went on to say that “Saba Hailu and the hookers in Asmara are so lucky to have a such a virile bed partner, and that’s for sure!”
With today’s announcement, Isaias joins the ranks of Awaze Tribune’s prior “Sexiest Man Alive” winners, including
- 2010: Hasan Al Bashir
- 2009: Kim Il Sung
- 2008: Paul Kagame
- 2007: Kang Kek Iew AKA Comrade Duch
- 1952: Josef Stalin
- 1943: Adolf Hitler
UPDATE: For more coverage on Awaze Tribune’s Sexiest Man Alive 2017, Isaias Afwerki, please visit our friends at Shabait.com, a proudly self-reliant subsidiary of Awaze Tribune that keeps surprising us each passing day with their artistic take on the English language in their daily coverage of pointless issues in Eritrea, exemplary reportage, ብጾት.