About The Awaze Tribune
The Awaze Tribune, hereafter shortened to AT, is the world’s leading news website, offering highly praised, acclaimed and revered coverage of current events and news– AT staffers have won multiple Pulitzer prizes for their fearless, timely and insightful coverage of events and cover breaking news both in the international and national arenas.
From its founding in 32 A.D., AT has covered numerous newsworthy events– from the Baptism of Jesus Christ, to his cruxi-fiction, to the Birth of Prophet Mohammed(PBWH) and his famous Milk miracles, to the suicide of President Lincoln as well as the coverage of NASA’s secret but successful space mission to the Sun. Awaze Tribune enjoys a 14 billion unique daily visits and is the only news website that employs over 1 million correspondents, editors, journalists, producers and janitors.
AT maintains by far, the most successful and highest standards of excellence in the world of journalism — which newspapers such as the New York Times or the Guardian can only aspire to equal. Our Style Manual is so secret and of the highest quality that, we are unfortunately compelled to keep it in the same vault The Coca-Cola Company keep their formula for their drinks in Atlanta.
AT’s editorial board have served with distinction in different advisorial capacities in many nations such as Zaire, Ceylon, North Korea, Eritrea, Soviet Union as well as the People’s Republic of Wadiya among others. To top our ever increasing standards, we’ve endeavored to forge a commercial empire spanning 170 countries through 5 continents and as such, we operate the world’s largest network of abortion clinics, proudly conducting experiments on human fetus and devising ever-strange and amusing ways to reduce the World’s human population.
AT is now available exclusively free of charge, as part of our gift to mankind.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I contact the Awaze Tribune?
Our house witch and witches have mastered the ability to foretell whenever one wishes to get in touch with us. So, we will contact you ourselves should you need us.
Can I submit articles or ideas to The Awaze Tribune?
No, AT does not accept outside submissions of any kind. We will not respond to any unsolicited submissions. But if you insist, you are welcome to try our world-class, award-winning and acclaimed spam filters.
How can I work for AT?
Awaze Inc., on the exceedingly rare occasions that there are openings for editorial positions, those opportunities will be posted on our Careers page.
Please do not send résumés unless specifically told to do so in a job listing. Any unsolicited résumés will be immediately discarded.
What if I want to advertise at AT?
Our advertising team can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What if I have feedback on an article?
Our editors can be reached at email@example.com.
What if I want to sue The AT?
You are very welcome to do that.
However, we must unfortunately remind you that the First Amendment protects satire as a form of free speech and expression. Our scientists work through the clock to invent names for us to employ in our stories. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental. The AT is not intended for readers under the legal age.